Since your course cohort is complete, you now have access to the Graduates Course, which is the most recent version of my Online Course.
Because all course graduates have ongoing access, this allows me to keep one updated version of the course, with any new improvements, that everyone who has ever taken the Course can access.
I'm delighted that you're continuing to access this course. It's essential to give yourself support to stay on track. As you review these pages and audios, I think you'll hear things you didn't even notice before, that will help you to shift your parenting game up a notch. I suspect you'll have a lot more Aha! moments.
And I predict that even though you'll find yourself wondering at times how any parent ever stays peaceful, you'll also find yourself wishing at times that someone was filming in your kitchen, because you're really rocking this peaceful parenting thing!
The Curriculum page lists what we're doing in this Course, week by week. Bookmark the Curriculum page for easy reference, or just look for the link in the Course Menu.
On each week's page, you'll find the reading for that week, which will be in my book Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids. To get the most out of this course, I encourage you to do the reading. We’re using the book as our starting place, but in the lectures I won't waste your time by repeating what's in the book; we'll be going deeper into the material and expanding on it to give you more resources.
We've sent you a free copy of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids as part of the course because it’s the foundation for these ideas. (If you haven't received your book within 2 weeks of your registration date please email [email protected] right away.) Please begin reading the book as soon as you have a chance.
If you don't have time to read, please consider getting your hands on the audiobook. (I'm afraid that I can't give it as part of the course because the audio publishing company owns the audios, so I don't even have a copy!) Many parents tell me that listening to the book made it possible for them to squeeze in "reading" time.
If you've already read PPHK, I suggest that you nevertheless review the assigned reading each week. In the lectures I won't be repeating what's in the book, and you'll find new insights as you review.
My new Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids WORKBOOK is not part of the Course, although in the Course I do gift you some exercises from the WORKBOOK as homework exercises. I also use the example of how to calm down when your children are fighting in the car in both the Week 2 Course Lecture and in the Workbook. But if you want to go deeper, I recommend the WORKBOOK as an additional resource just because it takes the work in this Course and gives you more practice. And practice, as you know, is how you rewire your brain! And for Course grads who are taking the Course again and did all the Homework on their first time through, I've given you suggested Bonus homework from the WORKBOOK, which you'll find in the Bonus section. (No, the WORKBOOK does not substitute for Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids, which is our text in this Course. PPHK gives you the theory. The WORKBOOK gives you the practice and takes the work deeper.)
If you have more than one child, you'll find Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings is also an enriching addition to the course, since it takes the ideas you're learning and applies them to the dynamics between your children. Peaceful Parenting always improves the dynamics between your children, but sometimes extra support on how to apply these ideas to sibling dynamics is priceless.
I also encourage you to start a journal (either in a notebook or on your computer) in which you can record your thoughts, frustrations and success stories as you begin reading and applying the ideas in Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids. This writing is just for you; you won't be asked to share it. But journaling develops the prefrontal cortex of the brain in positive ways that help you self-regulate and become happier, and it will help you to make the most of this course. Record your questions, too, because keeping them in mind as you read will help you formulate answers.
On each week's page, you'll find a link to our audio lecture for that week. The audio is about an hour in length and you can break it up to listen over the course of the week. If you get a chance to listen to it more than once, many parents say they have new insights their second time through.
All the audios in this course can be listened to right from the page. You may also listen to them off-line by downloading to your computer, or to your phone via your Dropbox account. Listening off-line will require completing a few steps ahead of time while you do have an internet connection, so be sure to read our Audio FAQs to get set up. If you don't have a Dropbox account, or have questions about listening offline and on your mobile device or tablet, please read our Audio FAQs.
It takes about three months to develop a habit and rewire your brain. I've designed these three months of daily inspirations to help you rewire your brain so that you're more able to stay calm under pressure.
Each week, you'll also find links to five short audios, called Daily Inspirations. These are only 4 minutes in length. I encourage you to find a time when you aren't driving so that you can close your eyes and simply be present.
These audios deepen over time, so start at the beginning and follow them in order, even if you get behind. There are five for each week, so on the weekend you can either catch up, take a break, or repeat your favorites. If you're already a meditator, wonderful! But I still encourage you to listen to these Daily Inspirations in addition to your regular meditation, because they cover specific material that's designed to change your brain and support you in your parenting.
So let's just agree, right now, that you have done the best you could with the information and resources you had, and you are doing the best you can at all times to become the parent you want to be. You deserve total compassion from yourself. No matter what. Okay?
When you begin this course, you will become much more aware of your interactions with your child. You will probably become more patient and empathic right away. That's good. You will probably also become more self-critical. You might even feel some shame and worry about how you have parented in the past, or even in the past five minutes. That's not so good. Knowing more will inspire you to do the hard work to change. But beating yourself up won't help you at all. so good. Knowing more will inspire you to do the hard work to change. But beating yourself up won't help you at all.
As you learn more, you'll do better. That's why you're taking this course.
You will notice that as you use the approach of nurturing yourself more and understanding your child more, you will feel stronger and more confident as a parent. But please be aware that your more nurturing attitude may well unleash some old, tangled up emotions from your own past, that will bubble up to be healed. Don't worry, this is something you can handle. It just means you may have some days when you feel a little fragile, and need some extra tenderness from yourself. As you allow yourself to feel those emotions, they will vanish, and you will find yourself feeling more at peace -- and more able to stay calm with your child.
When parents offer children more patience and understanding, kids blossom. But sometimes, first, they have to get some old unhappy tears and fears off their chest. They do that because before this they were stuffing those old emotions, and they now feel safe enough now to show them to you. So when you begin this course, please be aware that your child may briefly act a bit worse, before settling into a much happier, more cooperative place. I know, you didn't take this course to have your child act worse. I assure you this is temporary. He just needs a chance to show you those old hurts so he can heal and move on.
I know you're committed to creating change in your family, and you want to get started. I'm with you! But I encourage you to take this one step at a time. Please don't announce to your child that you were wrong in the past and there will be no more punishments for bad behavior. So far, they don't have any motivation to behave, other than those punishments. We need to create more connection first. So for now, please focus on these three things.
So you can de-escalate the situations where things are likely to blow up. Stop, Drop (your agenda, just temporarily until calm is restored) and Breathe! Notice that when you stay calmer, your child returns to calm more quickly and behaves better in general.
Look for every opportunity to see things from her point of view. Consciously work to delight in him, every chance you get. When children feel connected, they behave better.
Which will be all day every day. But as you set those limits, offer understanding and empathy. "I see how frustrating this is for you, Sweetie. We do have to stop and clean up. How can I help you manage this?"
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