Bullying
Bullying is a repeated, purposeful abuse of power, meant to cause harm to the other person. If we don't have access to power in healthy ways, it can be hard to resist using it in unhealthy ways. You cannot bully-proof your child, but you can support him to develop the awareness and skills to protect himself when necessary, and to seek help when he's in over his head.
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12 Ways to Empower Your Child Against Bullying -- Including CyberBullying
What is bullying? StopBullying.gov defines "bullying" as repeated unwanted, aggressive behavior in which a child or teen uses a real or perceived power imbalance, such as physical strength, access to embarrassing information, or popularity, to control or harm other kids.
Bullying can include anything from spreading rumors to name-calling to physical aggression, but this is not simply being rude or unkind once. All children will have their feelings hurt, will be teased, will feel excluded at some point. Bullying is a repeated, purposeful abuse of power, directed at a specific target, and meant to cause harm to that person.
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Strategies for Kids to Fend Off Bullying
Most kids will at some point experience unkindness from another child. While bullying is defined as "repeated" aggressive speech or behavior, the child's response to the initial unkind words can determine whether the bully continues to target this particular child. If the aggression gives the bully what he's looking for -- a feeling of power from successfully pushing the other child's buttons -- the aggression may well escalate.
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Talking with Teens and Preteens about Bullying
I received a phone call from another mom the other day. She told me that my son was part of a group that was "teasing" her daughter at school about her weight. I asked my son about this and he said that he knew nothing about the situation. I did not get any calls from the teachers about this either. I want to believe my son. How do I address this further?
Using Play to Help a Child Who Has Been Bullied, Bossed
Dr. Laura,
I would like some inspiration with helping our 4 year old son with an issue at nursery. He and his teachers have told us he is being sidelined
and bossed around by a little girl (who obviously has issues of her own.) It's preventing him from engaging in other activities and making friends.
I've given roleplay and assertiveness a go. We've also made playdates with other kids. On the whole he is a well balanced child who enjoys a variety
of activities. Teachers do their best to redirect. I am on a career break so we get lots of opportunity to play/ have fun/ connect with daddy,
baby brother and me. We have used gentle attachment parenting techniques from birth with him. I dislike seeing him being manipulated. I would love
to see him have some backbone and enjoy the simple pleasures of being 4.
Aggression from Other Kids: Here's How To Help Your Child Find His Voice
"Dr Laura... What if it is not your own child being aggressive, but other kids? A few days ago my two year old and I were splashing in puddles when two girls with their grandparents walked past. The 3 year old walked up to my son and said 'We will kill you.' It was obvious she thought the puddles were all their's and she was lashing out with hostility."
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"I read your Toddler tips yesterday and tried each suggestion, and LO! My daughter has not been fighting me! Like some kind of magic it just works!"
Karina
Dr. Laura is a parent whisperer! - Liz McIntosh
Liz McIntosh
Dr. Laura's parenting advice completely changed my relationship with my daughter, improved her self-esteem, and transformed our lives. Providing my daughter with acknowledgement of her feelings and point of view reduced her oppositional behaviors and emotional meltdowns to nearly none. - Jodie Tokatlian
Dr. Laura, you have created miracles, large and small, in so many lives and our children thank you.
Folks, she's brilliant. It's wonderful to have parenting experts who don't see the child as the enemy in a locked combat, for one thing. I recommend it.
"I'd really recommend Laura Markham's Aha! parenting books and website for brilliantly practical ways to parent with kindness instead of punishment." - Makchoon
Makchoon
I have seen amazing improvement in my *very* angry 17 year-old son after acknowledging that there was a reason he was so angry and acting out. We have had several heartfelt conversations and I have seen a real change in how he treats his younger brother, and how he treats me.
I know that I am a better parent thanks to Dr. Laura's inspirational words and suggestions.
I love AhaParenting because there is always a "pick yourself up and try again" to it. - Chantal Harrison
Chantal Harrison
It's like these emails were meant for me. - Caroline Henry
"Just wanted to say how much I appreciate receiving your regular emails. They've improved my parenting (and me as a person!) and made my children's lives better. Thank you!" - Andrei
Andrei
My daughter reacts so much better when I empathize and stay patient. And now I get to model that behavior instead of letting my frustration get the better of me.
Thank YOU so much for your encouraging weekly newsletters and your Facebook posts. Since I began following your approach, I have noticed a difference in the compassion I show to myself, and how much more that helps me connect with my kids. We are all feeling a lot more overall peace!
Thank you for your weekly emails and your books. They're a life line for me when I really need support during a rough patch. - Lisa Fernandez
Lisa Fernandez
Today I say thank you, tears streaming from my face, so proud of my little boy and all he will become. Thank you. - Jennifer B.
Jennifer B
Yes. It works. And the more rest I get, the more patience I have. It makes a difference.
Dear Dr. Laura Markham! I am a mother of 2 boys - 16 and 7 years old. I am extremely grateful for all the emotional and relational education that you provide us and also for your incredible loving energy to support our evolution as parents, as human beings. I took your course 3 years ago. Although the challenges of the parent-child relationship change almost every year, your parenting principles are equally valuable and effective. It's hard to reprogram the emotional-behavioral pattern learned in my own childhood... so I find it very helpful to go back to your teachings to regain trust and patience as a parent every time new challenges trigger my anxiety. To have more clarity, to reset my energy. Thank you!!
Janina-Madalina Dobrescu
Your philosophies are the only tools we've come across which offer practical advice grounded in clearly laid out lay terminology. Our family life day-to-day is nothing short of a miracle, thanks to you! - Dana Questad
Dana Questad
