Screens, Media and Tech
In today's digital age, the presence of screens and technology has become an integral part of our lives, influencing every aspect of society, including childhood. The term "screen time" encompasses all screen-related devices, such as smartphones, tablets, computers, or watching television. And of course, we use these devices to engage in countless activities; to work, to play, to stay informed, to distract ourselves. We send emails, exchange texts, use social media, play games, read news, watch shows, learn skills, create lists, write journals, share photos, make videos, and endlessly research.
Most screen activities are designed to reward the human brain with pleasurable neurochemical experiences, so they can easily become addictive. That makes it challenging for us as parents to support our children to develop a healthy relationship with screens -- especially since most of us don't always have a healthy relationship with our own devices!
Let's define "healthy" as something that benefits you and contributes to your well-being. Some kinds of screen usage have demonstrable positive effects, such as creativity, learning, communication, social interaction, and making a living. And most of us include some things in our lives that are not super healthy but that are enjoyable and therefore contribute to our well-being, such as an occasional dessert, so let's agree that even screen usage that does not have obvious benefits can contribute to our well-being when used in moderation, in the context of a balanced life.
So we need to think of screen activities on a continuum. Many are positive, but making sure they're used in moderation is the challenge. Many are okay when used occasionally. And many are demonstrably harmful to children and teens. That includes Porn, of course, but it also includes much social media.
The question for parents is therefore WHICH kinds of screen activities to allow, WHEN to permit your child to begin using them, and HOW FREQUENTLY to allow them. And of course, once you've made those decisions, HOW to help your child accept those limits and be responsible about their screen usage, given their still-developing brain, the social pressures to use various screen activities, and the addictive nature of screens!
Start Here:
Cyber Smarts: Keeping Your Child Safe Online
Keeping kids safe online is an ongoing challenge for parents. Here's how to teach your child web smarts, from net etiquette to web literacy to simple safety.
Read More
Managing Screen Time
Are you wondering how to dial back the screen use? Here's your 6-step plan!
Read More
Why Screens Compromise Emotional & Academic Development: An Interview
Research consistently demonstrates that the more children use screens, the more negative the effect on their brains and bodies.
Read More
The First Cell Phone: Rules for Responsibility
It's natural to worry when your child gets their first cell phone. Here's how to make a written agreement with your child, and teach them safe cell phone use!
Read More
Porn-Proof Your Child
If your child has online access, they will eventually see porn. So before that first exposure, you need to protect your child by educating them about porn.
Read More
When Preteens Break Your Video Game Rules
This scenario is an example of a parent's relationship with their son not being strong enough for him to resist breaking their rule. Here's what they can do...
Read More
Mobile Phone Apps for Babies?
If you want to stimulate your baby's brain development, the best way is to engage with her! Babies learn in certain ways, and screens are not one of them.
Read More
Is TV making 3 year old focus on looking pretty?
Females of all ages who watch TV are more anxious about their appearance and have more negative body images. Here are plenty of ways to counteract that influence.
Read More
Does stepdad have the right to take cell phone from teen?
Stepdad is trying to do what's right for his teen. Teens are moving (fast) toward adulthood, and still need help sometimes to do the right thing for themselves.
Read More
"I read your Toddler tips yesterday and tried each suggestion, and LO! My daughter has not been fighting me! Like some kind of magic it just works!"
Karina
Dr. Laura is a parent whisperer! - Liz McIntosh
Liz McIntosh
Dr. Laura's parenting advice completely changed my relationship with my daughter, improved her self-esteem, and transformed our lives. Providing my daughter with acknowledgement of her feelings and point of view reduced her oppositional behaviors and emotional meltdowns to nearly none. - Jodie Tokatlian
Dr. Laura, you have created miracles, large and small, in so many lives and our children thank you.
Folks, she's brilliant. It's wonderful to have parenting experts who don't see the child as the enemy in a locked combat, for one thing. I recommend it.
"I'd really recommend Laura Markham's Aha! parenting books and website for brilliantly practical ways to parent with kindness instead of punishment." - Makchoon
Makchoon
I have seen amazing improvement in my *very* angry 17 year-old son after acknowledging that there was a reason he was so angry and acting out. We have had several heartfelt conversations and I have seen a real change in how he treats his younger brother, and how he treats me.
I know that I am a better parent thanks to Dr. Laura's inspirational words and suggestions.
I love AhaParenting because there is always a "pick yourself up and try again" to it. - Chantal Harrison
Chantal Harrison
It's like these emails were meant for me. - Caroline Henry
"Just wanted to say how much I appreciate receiving your regular emails. They've improved my parenting (and me as a person!) and made my children's lives better. Thank you!" - Andrei
Andrei
My daughter reacts so much better when I empathize and stay patient. And now I get to model that behavior instead of letting my frustration get the better of me.
Thank YOU so much for your encouraging weekly newsletters and your Facebook posts. Since I began following your approach, I have noticed a difference in the compassion I show to myself, and how much more that helps me connect with my kids. We are all feeling a lot more overall peace!
Thank you for your weekly emails and your books. They're a life line for me when I really need support during a rough patch. - Lisa Fernandez
Lisa Fernandez
Today I say thank you, tears streaming from my face, so proud of my little boy and all he will become. Thank you. - Jennifer B.
Jennifer B
Yes. It works. And the more rest I get, the more patience I have. It makes a difference.
Dear Dr. Laura Markham! I am a mother of 2 boys - 16 and 7 years old. I am extremely grateful for all the emotional and relational education that you provide us and also for your incredible loving energy to support our evolution as parents, as human beings. I took your course 3 years ago. Although the challenges of the parent-child relationship change almost every year, your parenting principles are equally valuable and effective. It's hard to reprogram the emotional-behavioral pattern learned in my own childhood... so I find it very helpful to go back to your teachings to regain trust and patience as a parent every time new challenges trigger my anxiety. To have more clarity, to reset my energy. Thank you!!
Janina-Madalina Dobrescu
Your philosophies are the only tools we've come across which offer practical advice grounded in clearly laid out lay terminology. Our family life day-to-day is nothing short of a miracle, thanks to you! - Dana Questad
Dana Questad
