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Is Peaceful Parenting Research-based

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Dear Dr. Laura,

I am a mum of three adopted children. We have used Aha! Parenting and found it effective, however the professionals working with us think we are being too soft. They also say this is not researched based. Would you be able to comment on this, please? Thank you so much for your time.

Kind Regards,


I'm delighted that you have found the Peaceful Parenting approach to be effective with your children.

ALL of the research on children in the past several decades supports this approach.

1. CONNECTION - Attachment research is now at the center of all child development theory, because securely attached children do better on every measure of emotional and physical healthy Attachment depends on the parent's responsiveness to the child. That is what empathy is all about and is why Connection is 80% of my parenting approach.

2. COACHING -Empathic Limits - Diana Baumrind's research from the 1960s and 70s has been replicated many times. Her finding? What she called Authoritative parenting -- meaning parents who set limits but give the child support to be able to meet the parent's expectations, as opposed to punishing the child -- is more effective than either permissive or authoritarian parenting (or uninvolved parenting) in raising children who succeed at school, with peers, and at home. Alfie Kohn, in his book Unconditional Parenting, has assembled a great deal of research on why punishment backfires. This book has been out for a long time and new studies are published every year. Emotion-coaching - John Gottman, one of the world's leading researchers on family dynamics, established two decades ago that parents who emotion-coach raise children who are emotionally much healthier than parents who either shut down emotions, distract the child, or punish them.

3. SELF-REGULATION-All the research done on parents and children shows that when parents self-regulate instead of yelling at their children, the children and parents are both healthier, and the relationship between them is stronger.

So I am not sure why the professionals working with you don't think this approach is research-based. There is no research that would contradict it!

I hope this helps. Enjoy your children!

Dr. Laura

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