If you had a mother who was always there for you and remains one of your very favorite humans, you already know you lucked out. This article isn't for you. Please enjoy the rest of this newsletter, and honor your mother today.
But if today makes you feel a bit needy, please stay with me. When Mother's Day rolls around, any wounds in our relationships with our own mothers feel more raw than ever, and leave us feeling like needy children. We find ourselves wishing we'd had a fairytale mother, the kind everyone else must have had, the ones who inspire all those Mother's Day Cards.
But here's the truth. Nobody's mother was perfect. Every mother falls short of the cultural ideal of motherhood, just because we're human. The myth of the perfect mother is a myth, and too much for imperfect humans to live up to.
Every mother was raised by a mother who was only human. Every mother gifts us the puzzle pieces of parenting she salvages from her own childhood. So every one of us has to learn to parent ourselves. That's how we transform what we're able to give to the next generation.
We don't have to be perfect. As long as we're willing to keep growing and loving, every single one of us is mom enough. Because you take the time to read these newsletters, I know you're committed to your own growth. That growth takes courage and the hard emotional work of repeatedly returning yourself to calm and resisting the slide into your own Mommy tantrum. This is hard, but it gets easier if we can acknowledge any pain we carry and work on loving ourselves enough to heal it. That's what gives our child a more loving start. Our ability to love our child always begins with loving ourselves. So in honor of Mother's Day, I want to forward to you a note from your mother. If you already received a wonderful note today from a mother you adore, ignore this one. But if you didn't, this letter is for you.
