Children, especially older kids, can’t help picking up on what’s happening. And because these events upset us too, it can feel daunting to answer their questions.

But kids don’t benefit when we avoid these conversations. If they’ve overheard something at school, seen a headline, or noticed our stress, they may be drawing their own conclusions — and often those are scarier than the truth. Talking openly, in an age-appropriate way, helps reduce anxiety and reassures them that they’re safe.

General Guidelines

1. Limit exposure.
Turn off the news. You can check updates privately, but don’t expose kids to upsetting images and audio. Fear shouldn’t set the tone in your home.

2. Calm yourself first.
Children take their cues from us. Take a breath, steady yourself, then talk.

3. Start with what they know.
Ask: “What have you heard?” or “What was that like for you?” This lets you correct misinformation and respond to their actual worries—without overloading them with details.

4. Validate feelings.
“That sounds scary. I can understand why you feel that way.”

5. Reassure about safety.
Let them know adults are working hard to keep them safe — parents, teachers, first responders, leaders. Point out specific measures: drills, weather alerts, emergency plans.

6. Watch for the helpers.
Point out the people helping. This not only calms fear but empowers children: they see that good people step up in hard times; there’s a social safety net.

7. Empower your child.
Helplessness fuels anxiety. Even small acts — drawing a picture, saying a prayer, sending love, or donating allowance money — help kids feel they can make a difference.

By Age

Preschoolers

Preschoolers should not be exposed to the news, but they may overhear things. If your child raises a scary topic, ask what they’ve heard. Accept their fears: “That could feel scary to hear.” Reassure: “That’s happening far away. You are safe here.” Keep explanations simple: sometimes grown-ups forget to use their words and that can lead to fighting. Offer an outlet: “Would you like to draw a picture to send love to the people who are hurting?”

School-Age Kids (6–9)

Kids this age may hear about events from peers. Listen first, then reassure: “That’s scary to think about. Thank goodness it isn’t happening here. I will always do everything I can to keep you safe.”

Explain in terms they can grasp: communities prepare because sometimes storms happen; sometimes a person makes a dangerous choice, so schools practice drills just in case. Emphasize: “This is why it’s important to use words instead of fighting.” Point out helpers: “Doctors, firefighters, neighbors all come together to help.” Remind them adults are working hard to keep them safe.

Preteens (10–12)

By this age, kids are more aware — and their sophistication can mask real anxiety. Start with: “What have you heard?” Acknowledge their worries: “Your friend said there could be another shooting? That’s frightening to think about. It’s very unlikely, but I understand why it would worry you.”
    Offer perspective and invite discussion: “What do you think helps communities prepare? What makes you feel safer?” Consider ways to help: donating, writing letters, raising awareness.

Teens

Teens may want to process the larger issues: why tragedies happen, how society responds, what can prevent them. Encourage dialogue: “Why do you think communities prepare with drills instead of ignoring the possibility? Do you think governments are doing enough about climate change? About gun laws?”

Balance realism with hope. Direct them toward reliable news sources, and invite them to learn with you. Take action together: “Even small steps — volunteering, speaking up, helping locally — can make a real difference.”

Close With Connection. End with reassurance: a hug, a calm routine, or simply saying, “You are safe, and I will always do everything I can to protect you.”

Your child doesn’t need every detail of a tragedy. They need your calm presence, reassurance, and a chance to share their fears. By listening, validating, pointing out the helpers, and offering ways to contribute, you help your child face a sometimes-scary world with resilience and hope.