Your Toddler or Preschooler and Screens

What the Research Says

Studies continue to show that excessive screen time in the early years is linked to:

• Shorter attention spans and more impulsive behavior.
• Sleep problems, especially when screens creep into the evening or the bedroom.
• Delays in language development when screen use replaces back-and-forth conversation.
• More difficulty with self-regulation if screens are routinely used for soothing distress.

That’s because young children’s brains grow best when they’re doing the work of childhood: climbing, running, building, pretending, drawing, and talking with caring adults. These activities wire the brain for focus, self-control, and problem-solving. Screens can’t replace those experiences. Every screen hour is time taken away from play, movement, and imagination that is essential for development.

What Experts Recommend

The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests:

• Under age 2:  Avoid screen media (other than occasional video chats with relatives).
• Ages 2–5:  Limit to no more than one hour daily of high-quality, prosocial content, with parent involvement.

Yet the reality? At least 90% of parents in the U.S. report that their children younger than 2 years watch some form of electronic media, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics.[i] A separate study indicated that 45% of children had been exposed to digital media by their first birthday.[ii] Toddlers and preschoolers in the U.S. average more than four hours a day, or 29 hours a week on screens.[iii] What's more, the whole point of giving our kids screens is to keep them busy while we get something done, so most screen usage by kids does not include "parent involvement" as recommended.

What would it take for you to follow these guidelines--to  never show your baby a screen, to limit your 2-5 year old to no more than an hour a day of screens? If you're protesting this as an extreme position, consider it from another perspective. We know that any repeated experience changes the brain and we know that screens in excess of these recommendations pose risks. Would you let your child engage in any other daily activity likely to negatively impact the way his brain is developing?

The problem, of course is that human brains have evolved to depend on certain experiences for development, like being carried on our backs as babies and running around with a group of older kids as toddlers and preschoolers, exploring the natural world physically. Now they live in apartments with busy parents and no easy access to playmates or opportunities for exploration. So all parents struggle to keep kids occupied. But when we resort to screens to get stuff done, we make it LESS likely that our children will develop the skills to play independently and entertain themselves over time. 

In my opinion, if you use screens to entertain your child more than an hour a day total, it's better to find a babysitter or a preschool program for a few hours a day. Risking your child's brain development is too high a price to pay for keeping him busy.

A Balanced Approach

Does that mean you should never let your child near a screen? Not at all. Screens are part of modern family life, and they can be lifesavers in certain moments: a long flight, a quick shower, or when you need focused time with another child. Occasional use won’t harm your child. The real risks come from daily, ongoing exposure that replaces other essential activities.

What about the forbidden fruit argument? If your policy is simply that you don't watch screens at your house, your young child won't question it, any more than he would question your decision not to serve sodas. Kids who don't drink sodas while growing up don't usually develop a taste for them. And if you're concerned about your child feeling left out of what the other kids know, you can always change your policy when kids get older and peer pressure makes it "essential" for your middle schooler to catch the latest show. Because she's starting later, the likelihood of addiction is much less, because it doesn't impact brain development so dramatically.  

Some parents worry that without early screen time, their child won’t keep up in our screen-saturated world. The truth is, young children learn best through hands-on play and human connection. Screens are easy to pick up later, but self-regulation, focus, and imagination are built in the early years. Those are the very abilities your child will need to manage technology responsibly when they’re older.

Action Guide: Managing Screens in Daily Life

You don’t need to be perfect. What matters is having clear family habits that put connection, play, and rest first. Here’s how:

1. Create Screen-Free Zones and Times
   Make mealtimes, bedrooms, the hour before bed, and most times of the day screen-free. Limit screens to specific times of the day and week so your child knows what to expect, for instance, family movie night on Friday nights or Sunday morning kids' time.
2. Choose Quality Over Quantity
   Pick prosocial, slow-paced shows (like Sesame Street, Daniel Tiger, or Bluey). Co-view when you can and talk about what you’re watching. Research is pretty clear that young children, who are observing and learning constantly, take cues from what they see on screens, just as they take cues from real life. So children who watch shows that depict "prosocial content" -- kindness, for instance -- are more likely to act kindly. Children who watch shows with "meanness" –whether from “bratty” little siblings or “bad guys”—are more likely to mimic the "mean" words or actions they see on the screen.
3. Use Screens to Connect With Loved Ones
   The one kind of screen time for kids that has only benefits it video chatting with grandparents or far-away family. Even babies benefit when they see familiar faces on screen paired with a parent’s warm voice: “Look, it’s Grandma!” This kind of interactive screen time strengthens relationships and helps children learn social and language skills, because it’s back-and-forth, not passive.
4. Keep Screens Out of Soothing
   When your child is upset, lean on hugs, words, and play — not screens. Reserve devices for rare situations where nothing else will do.
5. Protect Sleep
   Turn off screens at least an hour before bedtime. Keep all devices out of bedrooms to protect healthy rest.
6. Model What You Want to See
   Show your child that people come before devices. Put your phone away during meals, and narrate your choices: “I’ll check my messages later. Right now I want to hear about your day.”
7. Use Screens Mindfully
   Before turning one on, ask: “Why now? Is there another way to meet this need?” If the answer is still yes, set a clear limit: “You can watch one show, then we’ll play outside.”
8. Have a agreement for how your child will transition off the screen.
   Your plan should include connection with you (to replace the dopamine you're interrupting) and physical activity (to work off the built-up tension and stress hormones.)
9. Have Alternatives Ready
   Have a plan for how your child will transition off the screen. Have go-to options ready: art supplies, building toys, puzzles, a bin of “special toys” for when you’re busy. The more inviting the alternatives, the less your child will beg for screens.
10. Be Clear and Consistent with Screen Rules, and Expect Pushback
    Of course your child will protest when you say “time’s up.” That’s normal. Stay compassionate but firm: “I know it’s hard to turn off the tablet. Do you want to choose the song for our dance party?”
11. What about computer games?
    While they can be more interactive than TV and may even teach early skills, most experts recommend delaying or limiting them for young children. That’s because computer games are intentionally designed to keep kids hooked.
12. Focus on Connection, Not Perfection
    Every family leans on screens sometimes. What matters most is the overall balance: plenty of connection, warmth, play, movement, conversation, and sleep, with screens as an occasional tool rather than a daily habit.

So, How Much Is “Too Much”?

There’s no magic number, but here’s a helpful way to think about it:

• If screens are crowding out play, family time, or sleep, cut back.
• If your child can't calm down without a screen, never use screens for soothing. It's a hard transition but makes a huge difference as they get older.
• If your child can't think of anything to do during playtime, back off using screens when bored.
• If you're using screens for more than the recommended hour a day for kids five and under, that's too much. Think about what else your child could do during those times.

When used sparingly and thoughtfully, screens can be a helpful part of family life without derailing your child’s development. But when they become a daily default, they can chip away at the very skills kids need most — focus, creativity, empathy, and self-control.

✨ The bottom line: Young children need real-world play, imagination, and connection to grow. Screens should be the side dish, not the main course.

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[i] American Academy of Pediatrics. (2011). Media use by children younger than 2 years. Pediatrics, 128(5), 1040–1045. https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2011-1753

[ii] Durham, K., Wethmar, D., Brandstetter, S., Seelbach-Göbel, B., Apfelbacher, C., Melter, M., Kabesch, M., Kerzel, S., & The KUNO Kids Study Group. (2021). Digital media exposure and predictors for screen time in 12-month-old children: A cross-sectional analysis of data from a German birth cohort. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 12, Article 737178. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2021.737178

[iii] Tandon, P. S., Zhou, C., Sallis, J. F., Cain, K. L., Frank, L. D., & Saelens, B. E. (2011). Preschoolers’ total daily screen time at home and by type of child care. The Journal of Pediatrics, 158(2), 297–300. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jpeds.2010.09.012

More on Screens and Kids

• Screens change brain development. Dr Dimitri Christakis will blow you away with this talk about brain development and the effects of TV.
• Screens can sabotage kids as they learn to read, and keep them from becoming good students. Why? Click here

Does TV Teach Children to Hit?

There is no question that "violent" programming causes greater aggressiveness in children. We have solid evidence from hundreds of studies on the effects of children's TV viewing. Think your children aren't seeing violent programming? Think again. According to the University of Michigan's Health System:

• Even in G-rated, animated movies and DVDs, violence is common—often as a way for the good characters to solve their problems. Every single U.S. animated feature film produced between 1937 and 1999 contained violence, and the amount of violence with intent to injure has increased over the years.
• Even "good guys" beating up "bad guys" gives a message that violence is normal and okay. Many children will try to be like their "good guy" heroes in their play.
• Repeated exposure to TV violence makes children less sensitive toward its effects on victims and the human suffering it causes.
• A University of Michigan researcher demonstrated that watching violent media can affect willingness to help others in need. Read about the study here: Comfortably Numb: Desensitizing Effects of Violent Media on Helping Others.
• A 15-year-long study by University of Michigan researchers found that the link between childhood TV-violence viewing and aggressive and violent behavior persists into adulthood.
• Even having the TV on in the home is linked to more aggressive behavior in 3-year-olds. This was regardless of the type of programming and regardless of whether the child was actually watching the TV.

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, in a review of the literature, says that violent programming can cause kids to:

• Become "immune" or numb to the horror of violence
• Gradually accept violence as a way to solve problems
• Imitate the violence they observe on television; and
• Identify with certain characters, victims and/or victimizers

Studies show that even when the family atmosphere shows no tendency toward violence, kids can develop these symptoms. The Academy psychiatrists suggest that parents protect children from excessive TV violence in the following ways:

• Pay attention to the programs their children are watching and watch some with them.
• Set limits on the amount of time they spend with the television.
• Remove the TV set from the child's bedroom.
• Point out that although the actor has not actually been hurt or killed, such violence in real life results in pain or death.
• Refuse to let the children see shows known to be violent, and change the channel or turn off the TV set when offensive material comes on, with an explanation of what is wrong with the program.
• Disapprove of the violent episodes in front of the children, stressing the belief that such behavior is not the best way to resolve a problem.
• To offset peer pressure among friends and classmates, contact other parents and agree to enforce similar rules about the length of time and type of program the children may watch.

WHAT TO DO INSTEAD OF TV

Most toddlers and preschoolers who have never been exposed to TV and computer are used to keeping themselves occupied, and they stay busy. But if you're trying to break the electronic habit, try using audio books instead. These are more creative (since your child supplies the imagery in his own mind) and not addictive, but they offer kids downtime during which they're engrossed in something and less likely to need your attention.

To address times when your child just needs an activity of any kind, try an Idea Jar for boredom busting.

I should caution you that kids won't be able to occupy themselves if you have not spent any time that day with your child -- he needs his fix of parental attention and only something as engaging as TV or computer will divert him. But if you've spent the last hour building towers and reading to him, his emotional bank is full of your undivided attention. Now he just needs a transition to get into the next thing.

It’s great if you have a jar pre-filled with ideas, for when you draw a blank.

 

“Do you want to draw a picture for Grandma? Build a city for your beanie babies? Listen and dance to music? Cut out strips of paper and make a paper chain that reaches across the living room? Put on your jacket and make a sand castle in the sandbox? Or come up with an even better idea on your own?”

Of course, your child may not need a structured activity. Many preschoolers left to their own devices are happy to engage in fantasy play with an imaginary friend or some action figures. My daughter at age four would say "I think I'll play with Betsy" (her imaginary friend) and stay happily occupied for an hour.

Make it clear that it’s their job to entertain themselves. Once they get used to it, they will come to love this time on their own. The benefits to their imagination and self regulation are priceless. And learning the skill of managing their time and entertaining themselves is an essential protective gift for children growing up in our over-scheduled culture.

Want more ideas of what kids can do instead of screens?

Your Age-by-Age Guide to Screen-Free Activities Your Child Can Do With Minimal Supervision